Every divorce is different. Some separations are quaintly referred to as a "conscious uncoupling." Others are wars. There is no one-size-fits-all divorce, unfortunately, as every marriage is unique.
Some couples can calmly talk about their issues, even if it means divorcing. Some spouses may not feel safe in the same room as their soon-to-be exes. So how do you know when you should talk to your spouse during a divorce, and when it's best to maintain radio silence? Here are some factors to consider.
Anything You Say...
There are distinct advantages to a collaborative divorce, as well as some drawbacks. On the one hand, increasing communication and utilizing mediation and negotiations to settle your divorce can save money and time, and provide a resolution both parties are happy with. On the other hand, you may be unwilling or unable to work with your spouse, and without a judge's involvement, it may be harder to get accurate information regarding assets and custody.
There's a chance that communicating with your spouse during a divorce can make the process fast, cheap, and painless. Then again, your spouse may use anything you communicate against you later in the divorce proceedings. So, even if you choose to communicate with your spouse, choose your words (and actions) wisely.
Communication doesn't always occur face-to-face, and far too often we let our social media presence speak for us. Don't make that mistake. Whether it's ripping your spouse on Facebook to friends and family, or seemingly innocuous Instagram posts (3 a.m. selfies from the club on a school night), your actions on social media can speak louder than words.
Obviously, kids complicate any divorce. Custody issues, child support issues, and communication issues can provide flashpoints for the most amicable divorce, and how you and your spouse co-parent during the divorce can speak volumes when it comes to resolving those issues. Communicating positively with both your spouse and your children (and not bad-mouthing your spouse to your children) can help matters. However, if personal safety, for you or your children, is at stake, don't sacrifice your own security for the sake of speaking to a dangerous spouse.
Whatever you decide, an experienced attorney can facilitate communication during a divorce. Contact one today.
By Christopher Coble, Esq